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A realization

I have just realized that the root of my trepidation about writing The Book is due in large part to having to “go there” and examine, relive, and bring to life some very painful memories. Namely my father’s untimely death and the way in which it affected myself and so many others. It may sound unbelievable, but I am only now beginning to understand that I have avoided fully processing this event. If I write my story the way I intend to, I will have to face it full on for the first time ever. And that is scarier than any other aspect of this project by far. The irony is that I have so successfully buried and skimmed over it, that I have fooled even myself. Until just now, when I couldn’t even make a list about my father’s character and my memories of him without blurry vision from tears and a lump in my throat that felt as if it were holding back a river of grief. Because apparently it is. I’ve been skipping and glossing up until now with all my chipper stories; skimming the surface of a vast ocean of loss, loneliness and pain. It can no longer be denied, I’m diving in all the way. I just hope I can touch the bottom and reach the surface before drowning in the sad poignancy that happens to be part of my experience. And I hope I don’t short out my keyboard from all of the salty tears that are sure to be falling. Nothing is ever as sweet without the bitter.

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8 responses »

  1. I would love to read your book. Your story would be inspiring to many.
    My fiance, Sue, is nearly done with the final editing of a novel she started nearly 15 years ago (life happened and there were many breaks in the writing) but it is a wonderful story.
    the journey you embark on as a writer will be as rewarding as the one you started as an aviator (a term I learned from Richard Bach is distinctly different from “flyer”…which would be me).
    You already know how to overcome the hard part……the blank sheet of “paper” on the computer screen.
    As you WORK (and it WILL be work) your way through it you will have more support than most writers hacking it out in the lonely wilderness of their messy office/studies.
    I’m sure that, Sue, for one, would love to serve as a non-judgemental “bouncing board” for the writing, the organization, or the flow, or whatever.
    One of your many admirers,
    Jim
    PS I hope David is OK with the idea…one’s partner can make a big difference!

    Reply
    • Dear Jim,

      Thank you for your encouragement, you have always been so positive and I really appreciate you. That’s exciting about Sue’s novel, I am so impressed and would love to read it. David is 110 percent supportive about my writing. You’re correct, it is so important that one have support for such an endeavor. I hope to fly with you next year!

      Blue skies,

      Summer

      Reply
  2. Dearest Summer…

    When I started flying, the one thing I wanted most in the world was to take my dad for a ride. We never got the chance. But I’ve learned that on days when the air is smooth as glass and I feel a bump on the stick, my dad is flying with me. He has shown me wonderful things from the air.

    I think that you will find as you delve into this particular part of your book …. that your father is, and never has been, far away from you. Remember the heart photo? Put that next to you as you write — you will relive memories you two shared that are dear and sweet. Hold them close. The tears are just dad’s way giving you a hug and letting you know he is right there with you.

    Love ya sky sister 🙂

    Reply
  3. Dear Susan,

    You have such a comforting way of reminding me with your beautiful words about what I know to be true but temporarily lose sight of from time to time. You are a true soul sky sister, supportive, loving, intuitive,gracious and wise. I do remember the heart picture, and it’s more than fitting that they danced when we met again in this lifetime. You are a gift and I treasure you!

    Love you dearly. Now let’s get to crackin some spars together!

    Reply
  4. Sharing your story will likely give someone(s) who read it an opportunity to see that they are not alone. And they will receive the gift of the power to create a future that is exciting, touching, moving and INSPIRING!!! Keep up the good work.

    Reply
  5. Bob, that’s my intention exactly! You nailed it, thanks for recognizing it. And thanks for all of your wonderful support and encouragement.

    Reply
  6. Summer,
    You have already touched so many lives. The book will be worth the tears and the pain. Worth it for you and your still broken heart over your Dad and worth it to all of us who are lucky enough to know you and your story.
    Keep your chin up and enjoy it as much as you can. You are more gifted than you know
    Rusty

    Reply

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